Is it all normal?

The last Saturday was a great day in my life. Ask why? Let me tell -------- For few hours I had to go around in busy dusty roads and knew lot about life. I was standing in middle of the road surrounded by traffic all around, this is common in Bangalore. But, contrarily to the big metal body vehicles, here it is all people, pushing carts, tempos, etc….. There was just utter chaos all the way. I was surprised for being the only one seeing it as chaos, everyone was going on as if all’s normal around. Is it all normal? Yes it is … is the answer everyone here gives. Dust all over, narrow roads, ill maintained drainage system, ear bursting noise of sellers selling and buyers making the best bargain, no place for one to walk through but let go speeding bikes, business men aged from 13 so on and on goes the list. This is life, their life, which thought me a lot.

By the way, didn’t say why I was there – was there to buy some T-shirts to be distributed to children of the orphanage our NGO is supporting on the official launching event of it's website.

I was afraid to go home!!!!

Last Thursday was the day which would be in my memories forever, It was so hurting. I was leaving to my home, Hyderabad and for the first time I was afraid to go. All this statehood fever has gone too much now. I got more than a 100 calls, from my near and dear, that day time to time updating me of the situation. I flip-flopped my decision to go or not a 1000 times, which finally ended with a result to go.

Was I going to a war hit area?

No, but that's what I felt for few movements. It's pathetic that all the people there are taken for granted to bear the burden of this hatred induced by few corrupt and selfish politicians carving for power, money.... Is this all meaningful, the representatives we elected spending thousands of crores of our money, playing resign and resign game. I don't know what's the solution for this statehood problem, but one thing I knew today is "Its not loving others which is tough, but hating is".

Great big fat Indian wedding

This weekend I was enjoying a hectic schedule of organizing my cousin’s wedding. Isn’t it a self contradictory statement, enjoying a hectic schedule, ----- No not at all ….. This is India. It was so colorful with lots of lights, sarees with glittering colors, a well famous festive chaos and last but not the least – the unique Vedic chants with cultural music background. It was always a question for me, whether everyone is really busy or they just show off to be part of it.

“What so ever it might look to be so for the one seeing all this, for me it is just a great big fat Indian wedding.”

I bet anyone going through all this, might be exhausted by the time all the chaos subsides, but will feel proud of the cultural and traditional India. They push the life into relations which were dormant for years. But believe me, just being in it is a lot exhaustive than it looks.

Do I know what I really want?

I ask this myself many a times, but was not able to answer it atleast once. When I was to shift here, Bangalore, it was not only the pay package which compelled me to accept the offer but also the thought of being on my own away for the family for the first time. But now I feel I had enough of all the freedom, dominated by the feeling of homesick. So now it’s right to ask myself "Do I know what I really want?"

Smile is the only curve which makes every thing straight ...

How can i describe smile? This is the greatest of all the God gave us to be humans for longtime. It is said that every thing in this world under the God's creation, is bound to have pro's and con's but do we have any for the priceless smile. If so please tell me any?

Smile helps in maintaining relationships forever. It not only lets you live longer but also happier. I have recent personal experience of what smile can do. My relation with one of my friend strained due to a misunderstanding and on one sad day she started pointing out my short comings. I took all with a smile and let her put out her anger. As I was taking all with a smile, it didn't go longer. As time passed, now she realized of the misunderstanding and can bad to me with heart full of apology.

Just imagine, if I would have also retaliated by pointing her short coming at that time, what would be the state of our relation. We would not be in a position to face each other even after realizing the point of problem. So all this ends with a Smile......

Does this mean machines controlling men.

I always heard from my parents and their generation people about their train journeys. Their narration was always so much filled with excitement. I always used to remember those memories shared by them, whenever I travel in a train, hope to experience the same too. They used to tell me about how a few complete strangers hesitantly talk which, with passing minutes gets them close enough to share the food among them. They giggle and tell how a silly small chat turns in to a huge discussion passing from one topic to another. Few share the knowledge, some get out their opinions, others vent out their anguish.

A few of these relations go on continuing after the journey too, finding new friends in each other. This was always a mystery for me --- Strangers to Acquaintances and becoming friends. But my hope of experiencing all this is shattered every time because contrary to all this journeys i heard of, now become static and dull. It is as if i am traveling with silkworms in their personal cocoons of self-isolation.

These static lifeless people come running from the work places carrying on their backs, what they so called their identity or life --- laptops. They quickly scan the complete compartment for their seat and settle down in it as soon as possible. Now, for sure, it takes at least an hour or more for them to come into this world putting away their cellphones. After this they eagerly await for the TT to warp up the ticket validation process, so that they can upgrade to the next stage which is the worst part i.e. to take out their laptops and comfy them on their laps. It looks as if they want to show off their identity as IT people.

Do they really need to? No, they don't mean to also. They take them out to watch movies till the battery lasts. As the battery goes off they slowly droop into their cocoon and drop into sleep. So now, where is the fun of talking, interacting, knowing people, making new relations and friends?

I think we lost all that in the wind of techno addicts. Hey, is this to blame the movie piracy? or people have become so satisfied with their relations that they can't take anymore? You try to talk to a person in office casually, he will not respond. But go back to your seat and ping him on chat or scarp him on orkut, you can be sure of his response.

Ho God, is this what scientists fear off, defining it to be the pathetic instance of machine control on men? if not, I can't imagine or don't want to - what worst is still to come on to the mankind?

Shall we have to wait and see for the worst or try to change this now so as to at least delay it.

Sky is the limit......................

..........Nevertheless, remember we still are on the ground.

A beggar thinks of his next meal, a daily laborer of a stomach full of meal, vegetable seller thinks on how to make the ends of a week meet, a office boy thinks of the month end survival, a graduate employee dreams his EMI’s also be waived off as the farm loan, ..................... as we go on and on, we will for sure reach the sky with a billionaire dreaming of resortic life on moon,

All this is natural they say----- always to think high and try to achieve it, but why is it that I eat a chocolate just casually when my watchman plans a week to buy it for his son? Why is that I spend Rs. 350 on a glass of Margareta floating on the high of lifestyle when the same amount is a month’s pay for my maid?

We know sky is the limit for all the heights of hope and want, but don’t we still stand on the same ground? When I used to ask my grandma “If God is good for all, then why did he make the rich and the poor?”,

She just used to tell it all goes as per our deeds. So, if god only runs our life’s play, why put the deeds balance in our kitty? I have no answer for this!!!!

I am just one person, but with 100’s of problems, 1000’s of thoughts, lakh’s of questions thinking about millions of people and about their survival in the world of billions,

I dream of a world where everyone thinks of traversing back to their roots....................................... And every thing becomes and every one is happy.

My first team outing ………..

As mentioned in my previous blog, Yesterday was our team outing at the resort, “club cabana” on the outskirts of Bangalore. Every one was filled with excitement imagining the fun we would have taking a day out. So was I, putting all my imagination skills at work to max. I was just excited to the fullest as it was my first team out here in this company.

All this would start with picking all of us at different pick up points and my pickup was at 9 am. My dreams almost took over me and pushed me into deep sleep. I was in my own world with all my friends around me having all kinds of fun and then came a big tide of water from the beautifully landscaped mountains, splashing so bad to flash we away to a distance. My eyes were watery, I couldn’t even see properly, but from a long distance I could here the Don Song -" Mae hu don" slightly and suddenly it became high---- so I woke up to find my phone ringing. It was one of my colleague giving me a wake-up call remaining me about the outing. the call was mainly to make sure that I would be ready to get into the pool so pack the needed stuff.

It was 8 am already and I need to hurry up. But it was only by 9:05 am I could make it to start from my place. It was too late as I said earlier; I should have been at my pick up point by now. Then as I mentioned to you already, I was to go through all the trauma after which I finally left to the pickup point, where my manager picked me up and we lead to the resort to meet the others there. We, frankly speaking I, enjoyed to the max I could take. This being the second time for many of them, it made them feel routine and dull. But it was very different In my case as water was my best buddy so had most the time with it, that felt like I was getting out the little mermaid in me. Finally returned home tired like hell. The day was like two completely different parts of life ----- one trauma result of bad sad things and the other joy of good happier things.

Trauma for 1000’s as life went stand still for hours……..

Yesterday was our team outing at the resort, “club cabana” on the outskirts of Bangalore. As I walked to the road to catch the bus to my pick up point ---- I was greeted by a huge traffic jam. It was utter chaos all the way, never ending serpentine queues on the road stood still till all the length I could see. It was as if god was fed up with all the noise in the peak hour and just casted them to still. The side line of the main road was a bit free and I caught a volve, relieving myself from the fear of missing the outing bus. But to my astonishment the drive only last for few meters and when I enquired about the source of all this chaos ------ no one knows it. So I waited helplessly for sometime hoping for miracle to happen, but later took a decision, made up my mind to walk till the traffic is done.


My walk which was supposedly expected to be a few meters went on and on to result as long as 5 Kms finally. As it is said “when in life you end up in a dead end solving a problem then, don’t loose hope but try tracing back to the source of all this and for sure it will result fruitful”. As I did this, I travelled all the way to the source of all this jam which as expected was a accident involving a lorry ramping into a signal post, street light after hitting a two wheeler, trolley auto – resulting in taking life of one on the spot . this happened at 5:45 am but the police only responded to this horrible accident at 8 Am that to as the traffic was hit badly. This was a pure show of their insignificance towards carrying on their own duty to safe guard the people. The irate locals in support to relatives and friends of the victim arose to stall the complete flow of traffic. So there were high tensed moments questioning the insignificance shown by the police which broke the tolerance level of these locals.


It took 6 Hrs to clear this traffic and set the life of the 1000’s strangled here on to normal, but my walk through this jam gave me a complete different inhuman feel. I could feel the indifference to value of life, impatience, gadget bug lifestyle, busy life syndrome etc. I could see the vehicles on the road abandoned as the owners locked and left for some shade escaping the burning sun. it was a clearly showing, sun was venting his anguish seeing these people’s inhuman intentions. This was a boon for the telecomm ISP’s as everyone was on call complaining about their condition to someone or the other, but it looked as if people forgot to speak to each other without a phone. There were a few who were doing their networking to increase self’s public relations, few were having tea at the nearby tea stall and cursing whoever gets in their mind from BBMP to CM. there was one particular person who caught my special attention for a long time, he was standing in a tea stall, having a normal tea using his laptop plugged in at the stall and browsing the web. Interesting yes?

But some where I felt this jam was also for good. People of different lifestyles were left on the same platform to interact and get across the various views of each and they did so.

The God and Us……….. Are we connected?

Every time I pass by a temple or see a mythological movie, many questions arise in my mind. The questions like ------- Why we believe in god and hope he does good to us? Why we think there is some one listening to all the cry of pain and hope for better? How do we believe that god controls us and our life? If he really does, how? At first I thought these questions are pointing at my own customs, beliefs, but later I realized that these are the questions which when answered will lead to know the meaning of life, how to live it and why?

Don’t miss understand me to be atheistic, I believe a lot in God. Then why are these questions around my mind? You will know that as you goon. These questions are in my mind for a long time, but the realization I mentioned about came just recently when I came across a generic proverb user by my grandma--- “Dear whenever you are in a confusion over taking a decision then listen to your brain if the issue is about your professional life and listen to your heart if it is about your personal life”.

As I heard this a thought ran across my mind, why do we need two thinking centers when we need only one? Can you guess why, before we go ahead? Brain is a very complex thinking center which is trained from the time of your birth to be molded into what it is now. It is molded under the rules of our cultures, ethics, customs, and values. But heart on the other hand is a very simple emotional, soft, humane and subconsciously controlled thinking center. It is not molded, but is what we are born with and fortified with a layer of beliefs. So this is the window through which we are controlled by God. Out it…………………

I hate to come back but, have to.........

For the first time, it was like finding me in myself while exploring the new world on my own. But as it passes on, it looks like I am losing my world forever, the little world in which I grew from baby to a man. I can't define either the feeling of heart overwhelmed with joy when I was coming to Bangalore for the first time or now the feeling of heavy hearted good bye to Hyderabad.

Should I feel happy for designing a new world for myself here in Bangalore or repent for the fading relationships at my own place. Is this new world worth the loss of my own old world which selflessly gave me everything I have and am now? Can I makeup again with the ruins of my relationships back there? The answer for the continuously questioning of my inner soul putting all my anguish is, just silence.

I miss saying a heart felt good bye to a friend leaving India; I miss the feeling of sharing the details of a friend falling in love for the first time; I miss the friendship day with all my friends around; I miss sharing my problems with my friend in the lonely Hi-tech City MMTS station. Than all these I miss the feeling of being young, not just for being pampered by parents, but being around with my friends who were with me from my young times and going around those places I grew, all these make my heart feel younger always.

After all these clash of thoughts I had on Sunday night, on Monday night while I was resting after all that hectic work all day, I felt all of the sudden in a contradicting way thoughts. I felt it was not the new world of mine which is resulting in fading my old relations but it was my incapability of proper time slotting which is and was hindering them. Realizing this I think for sure I will put out some time on high priority to strengthen my fading relations.